Six signs you are fat

It's official. I am fat and I have to slim down. I wasn't quite sure until number six happened to me yesterday. I wasn't even mad. I had all the other signs for months, but I ignored them. Plus everyone was telling me I look good. Not fat. Good. Stupid idiots. I knew that eating like pregnant will make me look like one. And here I am. The fattest I have ever been in my life.

Do you know what I realized today? I have never had to lose weight in my life before. Okay I've always said I need to lose 2-3 pounds, because my belly was a little chubby and I didn't see any abs (not pregnant looking though). Or maybe just because I was thinking I would look better. I was always careful what I eat, not in a too obsessive way though - I was still eating pizza and pasta, that I've made, a few times a week, but I didn't eat sweets, fast food - just because I didn't want that.

During the last year and a half I stopped having these crazy thoughts, that I have to lose weight. So I said to myself - "YOLO, eat whatever you want, whenever you want it."

And there are a few things wrong with that sentence.

First someone slap me across my face for saying YOLO. In fact I am doing it now.

Second - "eat whatever you want". Really??? Whatever I want??? I have eaten so many things I thought I wanted during this year and a half. They never really made me happy and after I ate them I realized I didn't like them. But then I go back and buy that food again the next day. We're talking - donuts, croissants, cupcakes, sandwiches, potato chips, burgers, coffee...



And third - "whenever you want it". I have been eating nonstop. Maybe it's because I have started to work in an office - as soon as I sit down in front of that computer I need a coffee *that I never wanted to drink up until 2 years ago* and something sweet. And that's almost every hour. All the time. But that's not the only time when I want it - after work I have dinner, and always something else afterwards. And on the weekends you can guess - eating like there's no tomorrow.

So now that I am officially fat I need a plan and moreover I need boundaries. This will be hard.

Man I hate diets.